Overcoming Fear – Ep 4

0.00 Stephen

You might be like me and face certain challenges, certain fears that sometimes hold you back from doing and achieving the things that you want to achieve. In this episode I’m going to touch on three short stories that demonstrate what can be done when we’re prepared to face our fears. let’s dive in and have a look.

Fear Of Heights

0:25 Kerry

We’re a sailing boat and so to actually sail we have to put the sails up. We had a little problem. one of the lines had snapped and needed to be fixed but it was right at the top of the mast and it’s actually a long way up. Stephen saw this as a great challenge. Jared had offered to go up but no, Stephen wanted to go up and fix the line at the top of the mast and so he did. Jared was able to help winch him up. He looked like Captain Jack Sparrow going up the mast to save the day. He did a great job and that really helped us get the sails up. Very exciting.

Stephen’s getting ready to go up the mast to fix the line up the top that’s been broken and Jared’s come up to help us out and show us what to do. We’re very thankful that he’s here. Hey what are you doing?

1:18 Stephen

Well, I’m about to be hoisted up the mast to retrieve the value which is stuck. What was that?

1:49 Jarod

Check your line. Do you know what it was?

2:08 Kerry

The wind’s picking up just a little bit but Stephen’s still up the mast. He made it to the top. There he is and he’s just fixing the line up there that got tangled. Unfortunately he dropped his pliers. They went into the water. So he’s up there without all his tools. Hopefully he can get done what he needs to get done. How was that?

2:58 Stephen

Fabulous.

In this story my fear was of heights and going up the mast is something that I wasn’t really looking forward to but what I was looking forward to was conquering the fear. There was only one way to do it and that was to do it! So off I went. I’ve actually been up the mast twice now and it’s no longer a fear.

Fear Of Rejection

3:22 Kerry

We actually had the oceans to ourselves. It could be because it’s the middle of winter still and there was snow on the mountains. For beginners like us, it was fabulous because we didn’t have any shipping traffic to have to deal with. We didn’t have to know to go on the left hand go on the right hand because there was no one there. Except for one little surprise that we had along the way.

We actually met some of the Croatian police on the water. Yay! That was a lovely surprise.

Well this is a bit exciting. We’ve just been pulled up on our first sail by the Croatian police wanting all our documents. Jared said that’s never happened to him but there you go. We’ve just handed over our passports, our boat documents and we’re waiting to see what they need from us.

They said everything is in order and that we can stay.

4:38 Stephen

In this story my fear was a fear of rejection and having spent 18 months working towards coming here on this adventure to Croatia sailing with thankfulness, to potentially have it all end when the police reviewed our paperwork and decide that we couldn’t stay, I would feel rejected. So I had a lot of anxiety when the police boat pulled up. I just gripped my teeth. I expected a positive outcome and that’s what we got.

What I learned, yet again, was that fears are often not founded in fact and they’re False Expectations Appearing Real. Often the best way to deal with those types of fears is just to move into them.

Fear Of Failure

5:38 Stephen

The boat went back in the water which is fantastic because we’ve been out for over a week. My plan was that they would tow the boat around, put it in the dock and that over the next couple of days I’d go back to my training notes and refresh my myself on how to reverse back in to the docks which is how we do it over here in Croatia.

It didn’t quite go that way. The guy we’re working with said, oh if you can take the boat around that’d be great. I said, yeah okay. So I thought ok we’ll give it a go.

This is this is how we end up. We have the stern or the back of the boat against the dock. It makes it easy to get on and off. There’s one, here’s another one and here’s our boat. That’s not the stern – that’s the bow.

I actually did quite a lot of practice out in the open water turning around and manoeuvring. I started to set myself up for reversing in. The wind took the bow, swung it around and I went in front first, but we didn’t crash. We didn’t wreck any other boats and we’re safe and secure, even if we are facing the wrong direction.

What I learned was that things don’t always go as planned. We can beat ourselves up because I felt pretty stupid actually. All the the guys are here to help with the lines and there I am, backwards. So I felt pretty silly. I just reminded myself that, hey you know what, we’re alive, we’re safe, the boat’s safe I didn’t damage any other boats. It’s actually ok. It’s not a bad first attempt considering I’ve never, ever, ever done it before.

7:35 Kerry

We’re giving it another go trying to turn around so that the stern is at the wharf. It’d be easier to get on and off. There’s a couple of other guys who also went in forward. So, we didn’t do too bad but now we’re going to reverse in. My job’s fender.

8:09 Stephen

We’re now reversed into the birth and I’m taking the credit. Well I had some help. Actually I didn’t do it at all. I’m going to do the next one but we’re in – thanks Jared.

8:32 Stephen

All right, time to head back in.

8:37 Kerry

I think, there’s Vrbosca. We’re coming in and Stephen’s going to bring us in. I think you’re going to reverse us in. Is that correct?

8:48 Stephen

Yeah, We’re going to reverse in and we’re going to be successful.

9:00 Kerry

I love how expressive the Croatians are. We can hear them from here. Stephen’s going to turn around and reverse in. It’s good the wind’s dropped in here so it shouldn’t have too much wind impact. It’s a fair bit of wind on your port.

9:39 Stephen

Just keep an eye on it for me.

9:43 Kerry

You’re doing great. I’ve got the fenders ready. It’s such a little spot.

10:13 Stephen

Hey over this side.

10:19 Kerry

Yep, I’ve got it. That’s looking pretty pretty spot-on to me Stephen. Yep I’ve got it. That big one’s in the way anyway, the fender. Reverse. Well Stephen, you have to be happy with that.

11:15 Stephen

I’m very happy. Reversed all the way in, allowed for the wind, allowed for the boat. It’s a very tight spot.

11:21 Kerry

You made it first time. Didn’t even need fender girl on the fender. So, how about fear?

11:35 Stephen

Yes, I was quite fearful because there’s lots of expensive boats around. Having done it twice now and both times went perfectly I’m getting more and more confident. My fear in this story was a fear of failure. One of the major reasons why people give up sailing is the fear surrounding berthing, mooring and anchoring. Everything to do with making the boat secure because there are so many things that can go wrong. When I was watching that story back it actually looks pretty easy but, I can tell you, when you’ve never done it before it’s quite nerve-wracking.

So, I went from a position of not being able to do it and actually mucking it up but giving it another go. My father used to tell me that it’s not how many times you fall down that counts, it’s how many times you get up that matters. I just determined that with reversing back into the docks that I was going to get up and give it one more go than I failed. Now I’ve done it twice successfully. Once with no wind and once with some wind. I’m getting more and more confident.

Overcoming Fear

Two thousand years ago a guy named Paul said:

For I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength.

Paul the Apostle (NLT)

That’s something that I read many, many years ago and I’ve held onto all my life. I don’t have to do things alone. When I face challenges, when I face difficulties, when I face seemingly impossible tasks, that I’m not alone, that I can stand on the rock of Jesus in my life. It’s not just a theory it’s what I’ve actually done. It’s real and it makes a difference. He makes a difference in my life to overcome these fears every single day.

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